


Come back to horizontal islands

by kira892



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M, in which sollux captor has three dads, stab dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 08:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira892/pseuds/kira892
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I didn't think you'd come actually." You say hesistantly after a few seconds of silence.</p><p>Sollux, whose attention has drifted out to the shadowy blur of passing scenery outside turns his gaze back to you and shrugs one shoulder infinitesimally. "I said I would."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come back to horizontal islands

You fly in to Toronto from Mumbai on a Friday evening and you spend 90% of the flight adding a tally on the mental list you’ve labelled “How many bullets I’m putting into Kankri and Dad’s skulls when I get home” for every second that the ear-splittingly loud, hysteric baby nestled somewhere in its incompetent guardian’s arms in the row in front of you produces cries so loud, it can turn Jesus himself into an axe murderer.

By the end of what has got to be the worst 18 hours of your life, the tally count could have been long enough to wipe out half of the earth’s remaining rain forests should you print it out.

When the plane finally touches down on Canadian soil and you zombie shuffle to the aisle in order to finally get the hell out of the flying torture chamber air India calls a plane, you somehow still have enough energy to spitefully shoulder your way past the tired looking, upper-middle class white couple who now held a blissfully quiet baby between them. You nearly barrel the (hideously orange, hair bleached so blonde Barbie would be ashamed and ugh eww, is that a velvet tracksuit?) woman over and you can feel both of them glaring holes into your back as you walk away.

The only thing that keeps you from looking over your shoulder and flipping them off is the fact that you’ve already used up your remaining energy to perform your tiny act of douchebaggery towards them and the knowledge that the number of bullets their obnoxious, ugly little hell spawn made you decide you were going to obliterate your brother and father’s head’s with is more than enough to make swiss cheese out of both of them and their fat little snot pocket too.

You nearly lose your luggage, you are so goddamn tired it actually sails right past you twice on the lugage carousel while you're busy trying to figure out if you can spontaneously develop uni-hemispheric dreaming and let one half of your brain sleep while the other gets you through the next three hours. You grab it on its third trip around and make a mental note to switch your unassuming,  standard gray suitcase to a stoplight red one as you haul it and yourself tiredly from baggage claim and over to Tim Horton’s to buy yourself two extra large coffees. You think about taking them both as you usually do, black, two sugars but halfway through the queue of bleary eyed airport folk, a nasally voice, irritating and pompous echoes from the deep recesses of your subconscious, whispering _three creamth one thugar_.

“No fuck you, you can get your own god damn coffee.” You murmur without really thinking about it.

The girl in front of you looks over her shoulder and adopts a confused expression when she fails to notice any wires and earsets that can possibly indicate that you were talking to someone on your phone.

“Sorry.” You grumble, spontaneously conjuring up enough energy to be self-conscious.

She doesn’t exactly strike you as the kind _not_ to think you had a multiple personality disorder, or maybe you’re just being extra judgemental because the bleached streak of hair at the front of her sandy blonde head and the glasses remind you of Eridan, but anyway, you’re surprised when she just beams at you sympathetically. “It’s okay, I’m from New York, I’ve seen much worse on the subway.” She says with a small grin.

You return it half heartedly before she turns her back to you again and you’re left to wander the chaotic planes of your half-asleep mind. When the queue shuffles forward a few more inches, you pull out your phone and open up pesterchum.

——carcinoGenetecist[CG] began pestering twinArmaggedons[TA]at 21:45 —-

CG: HEY DOUCHECANOE, DO YOU THINK I’LL BUMP INTO YOU ON THE TRAIN? ANSWER NOW AND I MIGHT GET YOU A COFFEE.

 

You stare at the screen, absently willing his icon to light up and send you a reply and as the seconds tick by and you move closer to the cashier, you start making mental threats as if he can hear you.

“Can I help the next person please?”

 

CG: TOO LATE. IF I SEE YOU ON THE TRAIN, PASSED OUT IN A POOL OF YOUR OWN SALIVA, I’M LEAVING YOU THERE AND TELLING YOUR DADS YOUR PLANE CRASHED.

——carcinoGeneticist[CG] ceased pestering twinArmaggedons[TA]——————-

 

You order two extra large coffees and you ask for one with three creams and one sugar anyway.

It takes you about only 2 and a half minutes to finish your coffee. Your tongue stings from trying to guzzle it all down when it hasn’t even half cooled yet but the mild burn gives the caffeine an extra kick and at least now, you’re awake enough to make it through the 3 hour commute home. Your phone buzzes in your pocket when you're already on the bus, 5 minutes away from Malton station.

 

——twinArmaggedons[TA] started pestering carcinoGeneticist[CG]—————-

TA: you’re a fuckiing twatwaffle and ii hate you

TA: and iim already at the station btw

TA: the traiin leaves in 5 miinutes, iim tryiing my best to sabotage the schedule and make iit leave now, wiithout your sorry ass iin iit.

You ignore the threat and you consider throwing the now bland, ice cold cup of extra large coffee you still had, in his face the second you see him.

You barely make it to your train, with only one minute to spare, which you do not waste at all, entering the train at almost a sprint. You don’t even pause to catch your breath, making your way straight to the second floor where you know he’ll be.

Your phone buzzes again when you transition from stairs to landing and you take a temporary seat in the closest booth to check it.

TA: traiin’s leaviing now

TA: wherever you are, ii am laughiing at your sorry ass

CG: WOW, FUCK YOU IN THE EYE BALL WITH BROKEN GLASS COCKMONGLER

 You look up from the screen to scan the train and smirk a little to yourself when you find a tall, skinny figure slumped against the window, all the way on the far end of the train. However much bullshit he decides to spew at you, the fact still stands that he’s here and he’s here because of _you_.

You try to be as stealthy as possible as you get to your feet and make your way over to where he is. Your phone doesn’t buzz with any new messages but Sollux doesn’t look up at all from his phone, thumbs glued to the screen. You don’t really care what he’s doing, so long as he doesn’t notice you.

You actually consider dumping his horrible taste in caffeine on his head but him being this close,  something you haven't experienced in almost a year makes you stop short. He looks as Sollux as ever, hair mussed and teetering on the edge between "this is intentional and half assed" and "fuck you I finger combed it to make it presentable, i should get a gold star for the effort ", limbs long and just a little too thin, hidden under loose, rumpled clothes. Under his glasses, his eyes are underlined with dark circles. You wonder how little sleep he's been getting in all the time you haven't seen him and for a second you feel guilty.

Then he looks up and sees you standing there and looks for all the world like the bitchiest house cat and you're the asshole that stepped on his tail and it feels like the past couple of months didn't happen.

He opens his mouth to speak and you shove the blandly cold, extra large coffee in his hands before plopping down tiredly on the seat opposite him and just barely dragging your suitcase into the booth with you.

"I got you your coffee now pour it down your trap and shut the fuck up you acrid little ingrate."

Sollux makes a face, holding the coffee to eye level and squinting at it as if it just insulted him, which it probably did. "Gross, kk its cold."

"Yeah that's what happens when it goes untouched for an hour because it's being reserved for a thankless asshole that doesn't deserve it retard"

Sollux gives you an unimpressed look and sort of just...slumps, apparently too tired to even fight with you. He shrugs to himself, still with that unimpressed look on his face and peels the lid off the cup to take a small sip.

You don't realize you're staring at him until he glances up and his tired mismatched eyes meet yours. Something in your chest clenches and you toss out something to say to make it seem like you were meaning to talk anyway.

"Did Roxy drive you all the way here?"

"Nah. Jane's baby shower is-" Sollux begins, still staring back at you dead on but he pauses to check the time on his phone and you feel a small wave of relief when the action takes his eyes away from you. "-in a couple of hours. She kind of just dumped me at Niagra and left me to find my own way to Toronto and hightailed it right back to New York to catch her flight to washington."

"Does she still...?" You make a vague gesture "...Jane?"

"Probably."

You can't tell if the dismissive way he curtly replied while casually averting his eyes is because the answer should be obvious, he was protecting Roxy's privacy or if the subject is inching to dangerous territory that he does not want to breach with you right now. It could really be any of the three but you conclude it was the last option and gladly pretend Roxy's current circumstance isn't applicable in any way shape or form to two of the current occupants of the booth you're in now.

You change the subject by casually inquiring about Sollux and Roxy's progress with the program they've been writing together. You haven't the slightest clue as to what the fuck it's supposed to do, it's been forever since he first told you about it and oddly enough it hasnt come up in conversation ever since January when you unblocked him on skype and started talking to him again. He answers you with a shrug and gestures to his face. You hadn't noticed before but now that they're being helpfully indicated by Sollux, you can see that the pale skin on his cheek is marred here and there by tiny little blotches of red and pink, the telltale sign of one recovering from a bad break out.

"My face would be a tiny, face sized replica of the surface of the moon right now if Roxy hadn't done a batshit, spastic, acrobatic pirouette off the proverbial pretty white girl handle and became my personal dermatologist for a week. I'm really starting to regret agreeing to work with her of all people. I don't think I'll ever be able to even fucking look at moisturizer for the next 3 years without having traumatic flashbacks."

You snort in ridicule, dropping your carry-on on the floor so you can turn your self sideways and recline across the two seats on your side of the booth.

"Why didn't fishdick come with you?" Sollux asks, glancing at you with a guarded sort of curiosity from behind his glasses.

For a second you just stare at him, wary, then you ask. "Isn't that fucking obvious?"

Sollux adopts a "touché" expression but presses on. "His brother is getting married to yours, I'd think he'd be obligated to go like you are."

"Man I don't fucking know, maybe he _is_ going. In case you forgot, I went to stay with my cousin all the way in fucking India to get away from him and I haven't even spared a single fuck about even _thinking_ about him so I really wouldn't know."

"So I'm like you anti-Eridan shield in case he actually _is_ there when we get home?"

You glare at him even when a tiny, tiny spark of guilt flares in your gut. "No, don't be ridiculous. Dad told me to get in touch with you because you weren't answering your phone you pathetic excuse of a son. The Ménage à trois miss the vile little freak they raised."

Sollux makes a face at you and seems to decide the conversation is over and its time to drink his coffee in silence.

"I didn't think you'd come actually." You say hesistantly after a few seconds of silence.

Sollux, whose attention has drifted out to the shadowy blur of passing scenery outside turns his gaze back to you and shrugs one shoulder infinitesimally. "I said I would."

 _What a nice change_ You can't help thinking. You briefly considering saying it too, in the "i'm just kidding but not really." kind of way but you don't. Because even if this is Sollux you're speaking to, the only person in the world who you can always revert to basic patterns with no matter what kind of relationship atom bomb goes off between you and him, you're still pretty sure that picking bones with one of your exes is not a thing you should do after you've just become friends again. So you stay quiet, give him a ghost of a smile and turn your head to stare out the window until the train stops.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sollux's dad picks you up from the station. You'd known before hand that one of them would but Sollux didn't specify which one before he signed off of skype the last night before you had to fly back to Ontario and you're incredibly relieved to see Calvin Deuce on the platform, standing safely behind the yellow line, looking as tiny and amiable as the last time you saw him. He brightens up so much, he actually _jumps_ when he sees Sollux and runs to him so fast, he nearly knocks him back against the side of the train.

He's only just tall enough to barely reach Sollux's shoulder, Sollux has to bend down and he has to go up on his toes just to share a hug. You watch a little awkwardly, trying not to listen in on their conversation even if its just completely standard 'have you been eating?, did you get taller? wow i missed you' familial junk and you practically spent 10 years of your life in their house. Calvin and his twin husbands were both fond of you still the last time you saw them but you're half sure that they've put you on their blacklist after the break up.

Which is why you can't help jumping a little in shock and being as stiff as a board when Calvin turns his attention to you and gives _you_ a welcome home hug.

He seems genuinely happy to see you too so you take extra care to be as not-you as possible. He doesn't seem to notice your forced politeness, if he does, he doesn't show it. Though in all probability, it's the former.

Before they drop you off in your childhood home, Calvin insists that you come over to their place as soon as possible and as often as you could before you had to leave Stratford again.

Kankri answers the door with his newly acquired douchebag fiancé wrapped around him like a clingy blonde, blue eyed octopus. You turn back to the driveway, where Sollux and Calvin were still waiting and you assure them they'd be seeing you a _lot_ before you leave again.

True to your word, you show up at the Captor-Deuce household just three days after arriving back in your hometown.

When he invited you over, knowing him, Calvin probably expected you to stay until midnight or later like you always used to when you and Sollux were still in high school. When you get up that morning, walking over the 5 blocks that separated your house from Sollux's definitely isn't part of your agenda for the day and even when Porrim shows up at half past noon to go over Tuxedo designs with Kankri and nearly succeed in dragging you into it, you'd only intended to go over to Sollux's and stay there for an hour, maybe two.

However, the unstoppable force of nature that is also known to you as Sollux Captor's three fathers intimidate and guilt you into staying. Or at least that's what you choose to believe. Because if you think about how easy it is to show up in Sollux's room uninvited at 11 am to drag him out of bed and talk-fight him into watching a movie on his laptop for the next 5 hours like its something you haven't stopped doing for almost a year, then you start to think totally juvenile, idiotically optimistic things and you just can't do that, not right now at least. So you don't and if someone asks later on, you'd tell them you spent the entire day at the Captor-Deuce residence because the individuals whose last names said household is identified with are the ones responsible for keeping you there.

It's kind of true, Calvin is excited and all too happy to have you there and though the attention is admittedly suffocating, denying a midle aged man who stands at 4 foot 11 something as simple as company and ~~2 hours~~ a couple of minutes of your time to help him rearrange his odd hat collection and taste test the stew he was making for dinner, is something only ~~Sollux~~ the heartless would do. As for Sollux's two other dads well, you think it suffices to say that even at 23 years old, you still only barely reach their shoulders and minus the fact that they are twin fortresses of girth that can each crush your skull with their bare hands, you're scared shitless of the way you totally are not sure if the threats they keep dropping on you the entirety of your stay are all meant to be jokes or not. and when they tell you to stay for dinner after attempting to turn down their husband's invitation, you're too scared to say no.

You guess after dinner, you're more than free to leave if you want to but V for Vendetta is on  tv apparently and with the mentality of a tumblr person, you think "ehh, I can stay to watch, it, it wont be that long" even though in truth you're well aware that the movie is more than two hours long. Hey, V for Vendetta is a cinematic masterpiece, and is the one outstanding exception to your opinion against action films. So yes, at the couch you stayed, sandwiched between Sollux and Argon Captor.

Calvin makes three bowls of popcorn but does not join you three, instead, he disappears upstairs with his other husband and they come down 5 minutes later wearing scarves and coats.

"You boys be good while we're gone okay?" he asks, fastening a collar stamped with a pattern of clubs on the family dog, this old, sad looking little pug appropriately named Clubs. You don't answer but you mentally chime along when, without even looking away from the screen, Sollux and Argon grunt out a sychronized noise meaning to say okay.

You look to the front door after it shuts behind a sluggish looking Clubs and you ask. "Where are they going?"

"Who the fuck even knows, its date night and its Ledo's turn, they're probably going to Ikea to go desk shopping for the new piece of trash Ledo put up in the computer room."

You're surprised that Argon Captor is speaking to you. If all twins followed movie clichés, he would definitely be the evil twin. He's the reason kids backed the hell away from Sollux and ceased making fun of him for having three dads. You can still remember the incredibly smug feeling of satisfaction you felt when he glared at every kid in the room during career day and made each one almost pee their shorts when he announced  that he's a police man and he gets paid to shoot mean people.

You're pretty damn sure that out of all the people in the house, he's the one who is the least pleased by your presence. But here he is, talking to you like a civillized person so you take it and run, nodding politely with a small "Oh."

Halfway through the movie, Sollux decides that he's thirsty and pauses the movie just as Natalie Portman is getting her head shaved. You keep your eyes carefully away from the Captor you're left with and you pull out your phone in an attempt to forget the fact that you're left with a Captor at all. You're semi confident that he'd do the same to you but just as you hear the fridge open, you feel a thick hand rest on top of your head and ruffle your hair.

"Haven't seen you in a while kid." comes Argon's gruff voice.

"Yeah" you reply, trying you best not to sound as awkward as you feel. "You too, you guys seem to be doing really well."

Argon shrugs one of his wide, intimidating shoulders. "Ehh, its Stratford, how _un_ well can anyone be here really? Old Jack happy to see you back?"

You snort. "Happy as he can be. he's mostly just glad there's someone to suffer Kankri with now."

"That right? I'm pretty sure that Ampora boy's been keeping him sane." Argon chuckles, shaking his head. "Crazy kid, that one is. Getting what he bargained for now for wanting to marry your brother. No offense."

"None taken."

"Eh, to each her own. They seem happy, so whatever." he says, expression morphing into something that suggests he was thinking about the fact that _he_ was in a polygamous marriage and that his husband's other significant other is his twin brohter. He shrugs again, this time to himself.

"You staying in town after the wedding?"

"No, Kanaya is expecting me to come back to Mumbai. And most of my things are still there so,"

"Oh." Argon nods. "and then what? Fly over to New York to move back in with Sollux?"

That catches you off guard and you almost choke on air. "What?? no, why would we do that?"

"You're back together aren't you?"

"No, no god no, we're not!"

Argon seems genuinely shocked and for a second you're afraid you've just won yourself a free black eye but instead of getting angry on his son's behalf, he just adopts a confused expression and nods to himself. "Oh. Okay." he says before turning his attention back to the tv.

You feel like you should defend yourself and you hesitate for a few seconds, mouth opening and closing like a feeding guppy. Before any words can tumble out of your mouth however, Sollux comes back into the living room with five cans of soda. He sets three cans of Canada Dry on the coffee table and hands you and Argon both a can of Dr Pepper.

"Don't touch the ale, that shit's mine." He mutters, sinking back onto his spot next to you whilst reaching for the remote and unpausing the movie.

You lose yourself to the story of  fictional dystopian England for the next hour and forget about Argon thinking you and Sollux are back together, deciding that its another thing that you shouldn't think too hard about lest you become a reckless optimist. When Evey finds Valerie's letter in the rathole, your tearducts threaten to become over active and you steal one can of ginger ale from Sollux, fighting over it with him like an immature brat to keep yourself from shedding a tear in front of him and Argon.

The latter Captor falls asleep half an hour to the ending though and when V dies in Evey's arms just after professing his love, you take advantage of your long sleeves and muffle your sobs whilst wiping at the _very_ few tears that leak out.

Sollux nudges you with an elbow. "Need a dish towel for your tears princess?"

"Fuck you" you mutter in response, nudging him back with more force than necessary.

When the credits roll, you sit there and stretch, preparing yourself for the walk home. The time on the cable box says that its already 11:30 PM. You've nearly spent the entire day at Sollux's house so you stand up, careful not to jostle Argon too much. He twitches and his snoring falters but he remains asleep. You turn to Sollux to announce that you were heading out but before you can speak, he gets up too.

"You wanna move upstairs and watch another movie?"

"Why not just stay down here?" you ask.

Sollux tilts his head at Argon. "You don't wanna wake him up, if you do he'd be more of an idiot than usual and he'd stay that way unless he falls back asleep or if pop makes him some lemon tea with tons of honey. Come on, I'm pretty sure pop still kept my room the way it was when I was here last Christmas."

His room? my, how presumptuous. You're tempted to actually say that to his face but you don't and Sollux just starts making his way upstairs without getting an answer from you anyway and that makes you miss the oportunity to say it.

You thought he was planning to watch something on his laptop like the two of you did that morning. (Well, you did at least, he drifted in and out of sleep while you burned your way through the first two of Nolan's Batman movies and the third season of Adventure Time) Instead, he digs up the ancient DVD player he has hidden away in a big drawer with old, peeling stickers of bees on it and you dig through the mess of dvds piled up in the corner next to the tv.

It takes you a long time to sort through Sollux's garbage taste in movies and after Sollux is done setting up the dvd, you're still browsing for a movie that both of you can sit through without complaining. Sollux demands that you watch Underworld when he manages to find it and you quickly counter that if he's going to make you watch anything with blood-sucking creatures in it then the movie in question would _have_ to be I am Legend.  Sollux turns the movie down just to be an asshole and counters your proposition, demanding that if you wanted to watch something post apocalyptic then he'd only indulge you if the movie was going to be Zombie Land.

You fight about it until midnight, where you come to a truce and pop in the movie you'd agreed to. 

You begin watching Shaun of the Dead in silence and 15 minutes in, you start regretting choosing it as your compromise movie. It begins to dawn on you, as Simon Pegg steals Peter Serafinowicz 's car to make sure the woman who dumped him has so far and will continue to survive the zombie apocalypse, that Sollux might have ulterior motives to picking this movie.

"I should probably go home" you say eventually, looking back over your shoulder at Sollux who peers down at you from his spot on the foot of the bed. He shurgs. "Okay."

He gets to his feet and starts to reach down to help you off the floor but you pretend not to notice what he was aiming to do and quickly get up on your own. He notices and doesn't say anything about it.

Neither of you speak as you make your way to the front door. Sollux hovers by the stairs as you're putting your shoes on and when you pick up your coat, he speaks up.

"Let's do something tomorrow."

You purposefully keep your eyes on everything that isn't him as you slip one arm into its rightful sleeve. "Porrim is fitting me with a suit, or you know, several."

"Not like she'd do that all day."

"You'd be surprised."

Sollux scoffs out a short laugh.  "Okay, so whenever the fuck she's done with you then."

"Careful there, you don't wanna seem too overeager." you say, still avoiding looking at him.

"Please tell me you didn't pick up paraphrasing John Green novels off of Eridan because if you did forget it, you've been totally ruined, forget damaged goods, you didn't even make it out of the factory in one piece, you've been tossed into the reject bag and chucked into the recycling bin and I dont want anything to do with you anymore."

"This coming from the guy who actually _understood_ my apparently shameful reference?"

"I have a tumblr, unfortunately half decent human beings who have good tastes in games also happen to be fans of garbage like that apparently."

"Whatever, I'm going home." You say, turning and reaching for the door handle.

"Come over again tomorrow."

You pause. Sollux doesn't speak again, waiting for you to say something. You sigh a little, heart rate increasing the tiniest bit.

"Too soon don't you think?"

"Nah, if you decided to stay over for a few more hours, _then_ shit will be happening 'too soon'."

You open the door and step outside. You turn on your heel, almost taking the welcome mat with you and you face Sollux with a carefully blank expression. Just before you shut the door, you let the tiniest ghost of a smirk flit across your lips. "Night Sollux."

\---------------------------------------------------------------

You don't know how someone can break the laws of nature and fit 35 hours in a single day but Porrim Maryam somehow does it. The amount of time she spends stuffing you and Kankri into suits, sticking and resticking pins into said suits, taking adjustments, writing them down and then taking them again later when _something_ that can only be detected by Maryam vision turns out to be faulty with the suit, is nothing short of sinfully long. By the end of it, your legs and your shoulders actually feel sore and stiff from having to stand still in one position for so long.

Kankri doesn't seem too happy with the whole tedious liturgy of a process either and for once you don't actually mind his incessant ranting and complaining. Okay no that was a lie, you do, quite a _bit,_ because at some point he stops complaining enough for both of you and  the drivel that comes out of his mouth goes more something along the lines of "no stop what are you doing? no that looks weird, don't do that. everything has to look perfect and be comfortable, this is my wedding Porrim **_gooosh_** " and by the end of it you don't know if you ought to resent Porrim or him.

"Tell Kanaya I hate her for taking the better Vantas brother." She tells you when Kankri disappears to the kitchen to get something to drink. You nod at her sympathetically. "Will do."

She leaves shortly after, muttering something about modifying Kankri's tux, finishing Cronus', yours and your dad's and taking measurements for a whole list of people. She doesn't even wait for Kankri to come back from the kitchen, just packs up her stuff, kisses your cheek and bids you a fond farewell with "Tell bridezilla I left, take care Karkat."

and you don't know how the fuck he does, it, you really, really don't but not even ten seconds after you close the door after Porrim, your phone buzzes in your pocket with a message from Sollux.

feel liike comiing over yet?

NO. CHECK BACK WITH ME AT SOMEWHERE BETWEEN NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN AND NOT EVEN IN 1700 PARALLEL UNIVERSE EVER SO FUCK OFF AND DIE O'CLOCK

You type up as you make your way upstairs to do some online shopping or whatever you'll decide to do once you get to your room.  As you ascend the steps the sound of your dad's favorite Jazz record floats down to meet you. You're not surprised, Aradia's dad gave those to him to keep him from doing anything monumentally destructive and stupid when he was pissed. Sure enough, you see him through the open door of the room he once shared with your mother, sitting on his desk, polishing one of the thousand and one knives he's collected in his short military career.

Spencer Slick looks up when you reach the landing and he gives you a very stern fatherly glare, as if he heard you call him his birth name in your head. Whatever, you stopped giving a fuck the moment he told you never to do it. Technically he's not even your real dad, he's your step dad, that's what you used to say, in your snooty, too-ballsy-for-your-own-good little big boy voice when you were little. You earned his grudging respect and amusement for that. And also a sore backside but the two of you have built up a decent, respectful relationship over the years that thrived on your mutual hatred for a lot of things so it's all good. You still refuse to acknowledge Jack Noir's existence though. The man who supposedly has his face would always be Spencer Slick to you.

He points the knife at you. "Swear to me you're never gonna get married kid, swear it to me right the fuck now."

You give him an unimpressed look as you fish out your ipod from the pocket of your jeans and plug one bud into your ear. "Where the fuck have you been for the past 12 years of my life? You really think anyone would want to marry me? You raised me better than that you douche. Besides even if I _do_ get married someday who the fuck said you'd be invited? You and Kankri are gonna get disowned the second an engagement ring gets on someone's finger."

Spencer turns the knife over and over in his hand, holding it up to inspect its shine. "I would be proud of that answer, if it weren't so riddled with bullshit, it makes me dizzy."

"Oh for fuck's sake, me and Sollux aren't back together-"

"Never said you were." Spencer says, lowering the knife to look at you skeptically, with just the right amount of shock that someone who's really been taken by surprise would have. He stares at you extra hard, as if he can use some sort of parental x-ray vision to determine if you've banged skinny, emotionally unstable coders in the past 24 hours.

"Good, because, we're not." You say.

He just narrows his eyes at you and you fight down a blush when you can practically _feel_ his amusement creep into the air between you. Spencer raises an eyebrow and you hear the silent _least i won't be having_ two _amporas as sons in law_ that must have gone through his head.

"Whatever kid, just as long as you don't." he point's the knife at you again and starts jabbing the air a little to punctuate every word that comes out of his mouth. "get. married. within. the . next. decade."

"You realize I might just get married next month just to spite you now right?" You ask him as you walk over to your door and turn the knob.

"Yes, and you would make me proud and very happy that I can finally kill you with zero guilt because you ain't shorter than Deuce anymore."

The sound of Jazz softens to a muffled melody once you make it inside your room and shut the door behind you, but it's still loud enough that you plug in your other earbud and crank your volume up to something loud enough to drown out a shout. When you check what you've left playing the last time you used your iPod, it turns out to be one of the several dozen indie songs Eridan wanted you to listen to. You wrinkle your nose and set your iPod to shuffle. It coughs up two more indie songs before you're greeted with the sound of Imogen Heap. Your thumb hovers over the next button again before you remember that you are actually the one who put that song there so you shrug and keep listening.

You release a little sigh and plop yourself down on your desk to open up your laptop. It takes a little while because this is the ancient HP one  you've had since grade 9 that is only still alive because of Sollux. You left it here after you graduated college and you absently make a mental note to pack it with you before you leave because you're going to have to make do with it for the next little while until you get enough money to buy a new laptop. You wonder if Eridan had the decency to clean up the broken pieces of your other one after he smashed it to pieces

"Fucking Skype, why the fuck did I choose to let it automatically sign in when I start this damn thing?" you mutter to yourself as Skype loads its homescreen ever so slowly and hinders every other goddamn thing on the laptop useless until it's done.

It hits you simultaneously that you're left feeling like something physically smacks you when Skype eventually finishes loading and a landslide of messages suddenly light up next to Sollux's name, almost all the ones that's been exchanged between you and him after you've gone to India. All of them were exchanged with one of Kanaya's laptops so they're all showing up now, on this one. You scan them briefly and your gut warms a little when you realize which Imogen Heap song you're listening to exactly.

 

HOW ARE YOU?

fiine

THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW

why are you talkiing two me?

IM KIND OF DRUNK AND FEEBLY HOPING THAT YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME ANYMORE

 

YOU'RE ONLINE A LOT MORE THAN YOU USED TO BE NOW

yeah well, haviing someone throw the fiit of 2everal liifetiime2 about someone el2e'2 neglectful me22age handliing 2kiil2 kiind of 2care2 2omeone el2e iintwo doiing 2hiit 2ometiime2

GLAD TO KNOW YOU'RE NOW WELL ENOUGH TO BE JOKING ABOUT ME CHUCKING YOUR PHONE AT YOUR HEAD, BUSTING A VESSEL IN MY EYE AND HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK ALL IN THE SAME RAGE SPELL

well what el2e am ii 2uppo2ed to do? not liike you'd ever forgiive me iif ii cut my own diick off and pre2ent iit to you a2 an apology pre2ent

I'M TALKING TO YOU AGAIN AREN'T I?

 

 

ii actually am 2orry you know

YEAH I KNOW

not that iit matter2 now

YEAH...

ii2 ed better in the 2ack than me?

OH MY GOD, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO SLEEP ASSHOLE.

doe2 he know you're talkiing two me again?

NO

what do you even 2ee iin hiim honestly?

WELL, LET'S SEE HE'S HOME ALMOST ALL THE TIME FOR ONE THING AND FOR ANOTHER, HE ACTUALLY ANSWERS MY MESSAGES. WHAT ELSE? OH LET ME SEE, HE'S NEVER BROKEN MORE THAN 2 PROMISES MUCH LESS 12 BECAUSE ODDLY ENOUGH, HE HAS THIS THING CALLED COMMON DECENCY WHICH ENABLES HIM TO GIVE MORE OF A SHIT ABOUT ME THAN HIS JOB

 

Sollux didn't speak to you for an entire week after that.

 

 

I BROKE UP WITH ERIDAN

 

 

ii mii22 you

 

 

I KIND OF MISS YOU TOO

 

You skip over  all the conversations you had after you invited him to go back to Straford with you and when you hit a wall of messages that are all from him, one for each day you stopped coming online because you were packing, you turn your iPod down.  Not that it makes a difference, the lyrics ring just a little too loud in your ears as you read his messages.

 

_Did I tell you I loved you today?_

 

ii stiill have 2ome of your dvd2, do you want me to briing them?

 

_Did I tell you I loved you today?_

 

oh and ii 2tiill have 2ome of your shiirt2 two

 

_Did I tell you I loved you today?_

 

and that dumb purple crab watch TZ gave to you for your 12th biirthday what the fuck ii diidnt even know you stiill had thii2

 

You kept that hidden somewehre no one would find it and you wondered how much effort he put into snooping around the apartment to find it. You know he actually _looked_ because he couldn't have stumbled on it by accident.

 

_Did I tell you I loved you today?_

 

You turn your iPod off because this is getting ridiculous. The soft sound of Jazz muffled by wallpaper, wood and insulation rushes over your ears and you pull out your phone. You have one new message.

diid ii mentiion ii stiill have some of your shiit? well ii do. holdiing them hostage now kk, if you don't meet my demand2, iim goiing two 2end half of the2e to nepeta, pretty 2ure 2he's 2till ob22e22ed wiith you, and the other half to Eriidan, ii KNOW that psycho ii2 2tiil ob22e22ed wiith you.

HEY YOU DOLTISH CROTCHSTAINED MORON, GO SHOWER AND MEET ME IN 10 MINUTES

no fuck you, ii don't feel liike goiing out anymore

TOO BAD, I'VE DECIDED THAT TODAY IS OFFICIALLY "NO-BULLSHIT DAY" AND ALSO "STOP BEING A VAGUE, SKITTISH PUSSY DAY" MAYBE EVEN INTERNATIONAL "GO HANG OUT AND BE FRIENDLY WITH YOUR EX AND POSSIBLY FLIRT WITH THEM IF THEY'RE _EXTRA_ NICE DAY"

you can't have three holiidays on the same day assbraiin. not that ii really miiind, those retarded holiiday2 actually 2ound pretty great

OKAY GREAT, NOW STOP FONDLING YOUR BIFURCATED DICK AND GO MAKE YOURSELF PRESENTABLE FOR COMPANY

ii would pretend that ii actually went through wiith that ju2t two freak you out but apparently, ii'd get 2omethiing niice iif ii'm _extra_ niice twoday so ii wont do that. and whiile we're on the topiic of my diick and beiing _extra_ niice, ii want you two know that ii refrained from haviing my geniital2 2pliit in half iin an expre22iion of extreme manline22 only freak2 of our calibre would under2tand, becau2e ii knew you liiked iit, a lot iif ii dare2ay, iin one piiece. 2o ii kept iit that way. and hey look! iit2 about two pay off already

OKAY NO. NO, AND NO, JUST NO. IF I EVER HEAR OR SEE YOU USE THE WORDS SPLIT AND DICK IN THE SAME SENTENCE AGAIN, I AM GOING TO STAB MY EARS WITH AN EXTREMELY SHARP PAIR OF SCISSORS THEN BLEED ALL OVER EVERYTHING YOU LOVE.

ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK? IF ANYTHING BELOW YOUR WAIST GETS INTO UNCOMFORTABLE, INAPPROPRIATE RANGE OF ME, IT IS GOING TO BE FORCIBLY RIPPED FROM YOUR BODY AND STABBED INTO EVERY ORIFICE YOU HAVE, THE LAST OF WHICH BEING YOUR ASS, WHERE IT WILL BE SHOVED IN SO DEEP, YOU'D THROW IT UP THROUGH ONE OF YOUR NOSTRILS. WE CLEAR ON THAT?

iin the words of one roxy lalonde,  ;););););) wonks 4 eterniity

You grin before you can help yourself and even more stupid than that, you cough and look around as if someone is watching. Before you can do anything else that can make you feel like you're 13 instead of 23, you try to work out details with Sollux. You couldn't quite agree on what to do so you just send a "whatever, we'll figure it out when we go out" text, leave your phone on your desk and walk to your closet to find something to wear.

There's not much to do in Stratford so the two of you mostly just walk around the neighborhood, going where you think you'd have something interesting to do.  At some point, you take the bus down to walk around aimlessly at the mall. Sollux trash talks almost every product on the shelves of Best Buy under his breath and you snicker, disagree and defend appropriately in all the right places until you see one of the employees giving you the stink eye for apparently being a little too loud. You glare at her until she averts her eyes and you drag Sollux out to chapters to do your share of trash talking.  You defend John Green as the paragon of YA fiction, proving to Sollux how he's the last pillar standing between YA fiction still being considered a form of fiction and YA fiction being nothing more than shameful, juvenile stories overcaked with too many hideous layers of fantasy and romance by comparing his novels to half the content of the YA fiction section.

He makes you buy him a Venti Frappuccino with extra whipped cream and caramel, only drinks a quarter and makes you drink the rest. You wipe whipped cream on his glasses and he bites your finger. When you chuck a wadd of rolled up napkins at him, the asshole ducks and you hit the girl sitting in the table behind you right in the eye. You're lucky she's wearing glasses. She glares up at you from beneath a slightly messy, dark brown bob cut that looks like it's just begun growing out and you're quick to apologize. She gives you a half smile. "s'cool dude."

You kick Sollux under the table and he sticks his tongue out at you and steals your phone to play angry birds until you finish his Frappuccino.

Surprisingly enough, he actually does seem to be acting _extremely_ nice, or rather, as " _extremely_ nice" as Sollux Captor can be. He doesn't even obnoxiously point it out and therefore negate his good behaviour so far and you don't either, contemplating in silence actually holding up your end of the bargain that  you now decide, as you settle down at the park just as the sun is turning dark orange in the sky, that you're going to take seriously.

"This is weird" Sollux announces as you come across a swingset, perching himself gingerly on one of the tiny, plastic swing seats.

"What?" You ask, leaning against the frame and shoving your hands in your pockets.

Sollux shrugs.  "Today, this place, you. Kind of felt like I never got past 17 or graduated or ever moved out...Ughhh it feels too much like one of your stupid books and movies, make it stop kk its gross."

"Way to ruin what could probably have been the single relatively romantic thing you will ever say in your life, none for you, you suck."

"Fuck you, I can be totes romantic"

"Yeah and I'm Jesus reincarnated."

"Is that a challenge?"

"I don't know is it?"

"Oh bitch it is on now, I'm gonna make you swoon so hard, you'd hijack your brother's wedding and take me to be your lawfully wedded douchebag in front of a confused sea of Vantases and Amporas."

"Fuck you, go evaporate before you embarass yourself." You say, trying your level best to keep yourself from letting slip a small grin. You walk over to the other, empty swing seat and swing one leg over it sideways, straddling it like a saddle as you sit down so that you're facing Sollux.

"I thought it was international flirt with your ex day?"

You raise an eyebrow at him challengingly "You're not the only ex I have, who says the holiday obligates me to bat my eyelashes at you?"

"Because I am _clearly_ the better ex? fucking _duh_?and like, you're actually _here_ with me, to the place you _invited_ me to." He pauses for a bit and when he speaks again, all traces of joking fall away from his voice. "Why'd you do that anyway?"

You consider serving him another steaming platter of bullshit but you think you've exhausted your bountiful supply over the past few months. You shrug. "I don't know, because I'm an idiot?"

Sollux digests that for a second before clasping a hand to his chest and letting out an exaggerated gasp. "No shit really? and all this time I thought you were the bestest, most flawless person in the world. My whole universe revolved around you kk, why must you ruin my wonderful illusions?"

You blank face at him and you keep it up for about three seconds before abruptly throwing your hands up in the air and getting off the swing. "Okay that's it, fuck this, I'm calling Eridan and telling him we are getting back together right now, obviously I've been about to try it with the wrong ex."

You feel something grab you by the back of your shirt and you yelp as you get yanked forcibly backward and onto a bony, uncomfortable lap. The entire swingset rattles threateningly with the impact of your fall and Sollux groans a little, adjusting himself a little so that the two of you are better situated on the swing.

"It's stop being a vague, skittish pussy day too remember?"

You grunt, staring straight forward and dutifully avoiding looking at him or at the arm that's slowly winding its way around your torso. "Don't see you celebrating it twatface."

"I would right now if you'd celebrate with me."

Sollux pauses for a bit and when you don't answer, you feel him rest his forehead gently against the back of your head. "I missed you a lot you oversensitive dipshit."

"Loathe as  I am to admit, I kind of missed you a lot too you insensitive douchebag."

And that's pretty much as far as the two of you get for not being vague, skittish pussies. You walk out of the park in silence and make insignificant, casual small talk on the way home. Just before you make it to his street, he asks if you want to come over for a little while and without thinking about it too much, you go along with what reason depraved instinct is telling you that you _want_ to do and you say sure.

His dads aren't there when you come in, and there's a note left on the kitchen table saying that they've gone out to Avon theatre to watch a play and that there's some money for pizza on the coffee table. The two of you order two boxes of pepperoni pizza and make your way upstairs to the computer room. Easily the biggest room in the house, its where Sollux and Ledo Captor keep their prized computer collection, most of which they built themselves. The room is like a technological time capsule, all four walls covered with computer models ranging from ones that came out in 1999 to ones that came out in 2012.

You remember mocking Sollux and "twin dad number 1" as you fondly referred to him many a time when you were children whenever you see this room, saying that both of them were the outstanding overlords of nerds everywhere (not that you needed the computer room as proof. Sollux's middle name, chosen by twin dad number 1, is more than enough). You both spend a couple of minutes checking your email and about half an hour just dicking around on the internet. When he leans over to look at a meme you found, his breath tickles your neck . He doesn't seem to move away even when he goes back to look at his own screen.

Or maybe it's just because he drapes an arm over the back of your chair and you don't remove it or even comment on it.

Eventually he asks if you want to drink.

Saying yes lets you find yourself 5 minutes later sitting on the floor of his room with two empty cans of Guinness by your side, a half full one in your hand and at least five more between you and Sollux. The alcohol makes you all loose and happy and at some point you end up laying across Sollux's lap and you don't remember how you get there but Sollux's hand is in your hair, thumb rubbing in gentle back and forth swipes against your scalp and you think that you're more than okay with it.

Moments kind of start to blur together and the next thing you know, you're on Sollux's bed, laughing about how this feels so much like it did when you first started dating way back in grade 11. You grab one of the few picture frames half hidden by piles of Sollux-y junk on his bedside table and you fall back on Sollux's arm, which curls around your neck so that he can stroke your hair some more while you hold the picture you grabbed above the two of you so you can both laugh at the prepubescent yous: a pitifully awkward looking, skinny twig trapped in a hideous body brace and a laughably tiny, angry faced little brown kid whose fragile appearance simply screams "inferiority complex"

"You were so fuckin ugly oh my god" You say, giggling as you prod at 11 year old Sollux's image with your index finger.

"You're still attracted to me, what does that make you?" Sollux asks, using the hand in your hair to reach down and pinch your nose. You bat his hand away, making tipsy, irritated noises.

"Noo mm not, fuck you."

"Yeah you are"

"No I'm not."

"Well, let's see shall we?" He asks and before you can say anything,  he turns on his side and grabs your face with his other hand, pulling you in to meet him in a warm, sloppy kiss.

He tastes like beer and pepperoni and its kind of stiflingly hot on his bed when you're both pink cheeked from alcohol and tangled in limbs, clothes and messy blankets but still, all you can think about as his tongue slides between your lips to tangle with yours is _yes, good, more, no, don't move away, what are you doing_? You're overwhelmed with worry when he stops kissing you but all Sollux does is sit up and chuck his shirt.

"Too hot." He mutters, swinging one leg over you and bending down to half lie on you as his mouth sinks back to cover yours.

Your fingers trace the long, ruler straight scar covering almost the entire length of his back, a permanent reminder that kids used to call him Scoli-Sollux when his spine threatened to grow into something permanently resembling his first initial forever. You used to scream at them to leave him the fuck alone and always ended up having a bad asthma attack. Sollux was always quick to shove your inhaler in your mouth and you giggle loudly because your childhood seems extremely, hilariously ridiculous to you now while you're drunk and being kissed stupid.

"What's funny?"

"You."

"Should I take offense to that?"

"You should stop talking is what you should be doing."

"Okay."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

You wake up before him and you don't remember what happened, if anything happened past all the making out which is all you can recall. You think some groping might have happened too but its a bit too early and you don't really want to think about it. You're missing your shirt and you almost pull Sollux's on by accident. When you walk into his bathroom to wash up, you reach for his toothbrush without really thinking about it but you catch himself just in time and you decide that brushing your teeth can wait until you get home, you'll just stay a safe distance away from everyone until then.

You hear Argon leaving for work just as you shut the door to a snoring Sollux and you wait until the front door shuts before you start making your way downstairs. You go as slow as you can, enough so that no one (hopefully) hears you and you can leave the house without any one other than Sollux knowing you were ever there. Unfortunately, the traitorously creaky step just above the last one gives you away and almost as soon as your foot hits it, it releases a sound loud enough to attract Clubs, who comes tottering into view, barking at you in greeting.

Calvin is not far behind and he beams at you, completely unsurprised to know that you're there. You almost wince but you don't for the sake of keeping things not awkward.

"Morning Karkat! Breakfast is ready."

"Uh, no thanks, that's okay. I'll just be going home now."

"Aww, but I made pancakes!" Calvin says, seemingly genuinely disappointed.

"Maybe some other time." You say, making your way over to the front door and putting on your shoes.

"Alright" Calvin says and you swear you can almost hear the :( in his voice.  "Should I tell Sollux you left?" he asks.

"He'll figure it out on his own, he's not that stupid."

Calvin laughs. "No, I should hope not."

You're not sure what it is exactly that he means by that but you don't ask, just slip on your shoes and your jacket, apologize again and leave.

You text Sollux in the afternoon, long after you get home. You don't talk about what happened and neither does he but you text him so often within the next 2 days that it's practically all you do. He seems to understand what you're trying to say and you're so glad that it makes you wonder why you're still not sure of exactly what you wanted when you asked him to go back to Stratford with you.

iim so fuckiing bored. lets hang out agaiin soon.

_have you made up your mind yet_

CANT, THE WEDDING IS THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, KANKRI IS ONE MORE NEUROTIC LECTURE ON APPROPRIATE WEDDING DECORATIONS SHORT OF GOING COMPLETELY INSANE AND DAD WOULD KILL ME IF I LEFT HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HIM ALONE

_still thinking_

weak man. whatever, iill see you at the weddiing then ii guess.

_okay_

"What do you mean no one from your family is going??!"

You hear Kankri's voice shout from somewhere downstairs and you eye your door curiously, abandoning your phone in favor of creeping over to your door and poking your head out to hear more of what's going on. Your dad's room is adjacent to yours and you see him poke his own head out of his room the same time you do. You look at each other curiously and he mouths "the fuck is going on this time?" at you. You shrug your shoulders.

Cronus Ampora's deep, mellifluous voice floats up to the second floor, calming in its softness after Kankri's outraged shout. What he's saying is harder to hear because he isn't talking as loud but you pick up bits of sentences like 'not coming from all the way in Ireland' and 'dont like me anyway' and those are more than enough for you to figure out what's happening.

"And you're only telling me this now???" Kankri asks. You hear him make a frustrated noise. "I know your history with them has been nearly nothing but problematic but you'd think they'd have the decency- ughh, this is unacceptable!"

"Tell me when they're done shoutin kid."

You look over to see your dad retreating back to his room, shaking his head slowly. The look he gives you silently commands you to look after your brother and you want to throw something at your dad's door as it shuts because what the fuck were you supposed to do to help? You inch closer to the stairs, trying to hear more of the argument going on.  Kankri seems to be overly indignant on his  fiancé's behalf that his parents are not going to be coming to their wedding and Cronus is trying to calm his shit, seemingly baffled that Kankri was reacting this way. Seriously? He plans to marry him and he's surprised that he's being so _Kankri_   about this bullshit?

"Babe you don't even _like_ my parents, why are you being so..." Cronus pauses, probably looking for a word that won't set Kankri off some more. "angry about this?"

Kankri goes quiet and though you hate his guts most of the time, though you haven't seen or even spoken to him in forever, you can read him so well because he's still your brother and he's still related to _you_.

"Do they really hate me that much?"

"Hey, don't say that, no, don't do that face chief, stop with the face."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"The face! you're doing it, you always do it when someone hurts your feelings and you try to make it seem like you're confused that they don't think you're right."

"I do no such thing."

"You don't have to prove anything to them you know. They dont hate you any more than they hate anyone who doesnt have enough money to buy their bullshit smiles and fake praise, okay? they _suck_ , forget about them."

"They're still your _parents_ they have to be here!"

"Nooo they don't" Cronus says, raising his voice just a little.

They carefully leave Eridan out of the conversation even though he's kind of important since he's the only other member of Cronus' family and you respect them for that.

"Who is going to sit on the front row where they're supposed to be?"

"Meenah and Aranea."

"What? You told me she wasn't going"

"I think Aranea convinced Meenah to go."

"No no no, that would mess up the entire seat plan."

They start bickering about numbers and seating and the appropriate closeness of the groomsmen and groomsmaids to the altar and for the next ten minutes, you sit there, staring at your dad's door, waiting for him to come out of his room and do damage control to the two manchildren squabbling in the kitchen. When it becomes clear that no Sovereign Slayer of conflict is forthcoming even though he should considering this is his house and he's the oldest person here, you shake your head and head downstairs.

Cronus and Kankri are practically yelling at each other when you get to the kitchen and without even stopping to pause and judge them for being Cronus and Kankri, you walk right up to them, grab their heads and shove their faces together. You hear teeth clack and you cross your arms, stern and satisfied when they jump apart, both clutching at the respective parts of their faces you've inflicted minor injury to.

"For fuck's sake you're getting married in two days. I know its almost impossible for the two of you but can you at least _try_ to fucking act your age? I'm going back upstairs, now make up and make with the **shoosh**!, goddammit. Try to remember why this thing" you say grabbing Kankri's left arm and waving it around to draw attention to the tiny diamond ring on his finger. "is here _okay_?" you emphasize the last word, as if talking to a bunch of infants who are using your last nerve as a trampoline.

They stare at you in silence, still rubbing at their mouths and noses and before either of them can say anything else, you turn and march out of the kitchen, right back up to your room. You hear the faint sound of them murmuring to each other after you sit down on your window seat and start up your laptop and you hope for their sake that they really do "make with the shoosh" or you're going back down there and shooshing them yourself.

You've just preordered a copy of Silver Linings Playbook when you hear the front door open. Curious, you push back your curtains and peer down into the front lawn. You catch sight of Cronus just before he gets into his car. He says something to Kankri, kisses him on the forehead and gets in. A second later, he leans out the open window and says something, probably in response to something Kankri is saying. They talk for a little while and then Kankri leans down to kiss him goodbye....or not. They kiss for a really long time. You make a face at them like a petulant 2 year old at first and gradually let your expression fade into something a lot more neutral. Looks like they're well aware of why they're choosing to spend the rest of their miserable little lives together after all.

They separate eventually. Kankri stands on the driveway, watching Cronus drive away for a bit before turning and making his way back into the house. You move away from your window, letting the curtain fall back over it as you turn your attentions back to your laptop and open up pesterchum to see if anyone's on.

You hear his footsteps coming up the stairs just a few seconds before he's knocking on your door and you look at it curiously, wondering what Kankri wants.

"What?"

"May I come in?"

"Okay."

The knob turns and Kankri pushes his way inside. He stops just at the threshold, looking appropriately sheepish as he stands there in the half open door, rubbing at one arm.

"I apologize for the uncouth way I was conducting myself earlier. I'd offended both you and Cronus and I'm pretty sure Dad as well. It was really unbecoming of me to handle my personal affairs in an embarrassingly puerile way."

"Whatever, I'll tell you your honor is restored if it makes you feel better." You say, looking back at your laptop and waving a hand dismissively in his direction.

Kankri scoffs indignantly, in that way that used to disappoint you when he didn't say "Well I _never_!" right after when you were kids and he resembled every single snooty cartoon character you've ever seen on tv. He still does but the fact is not nearly as amusing to you now. You hear the door closing but just before he leaves, you surprise yourself by calling out to him.

"Are you really sure you want to marry this guy?"

Kankri's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "I don't understand, are you going to say you disprove of him _now_? I thought you wanted us to-"

"No no, you two deserve every vile, idiotic inch of each other, whatever makes you happy, but just...are you _sure_? When I told you earlier to remember why there's a ring on your finger, what answer came to mind?"

"Why are you asking me this?" Kankri asks.

"I don't know" you mumble hurriedly, making the words sound like "iuno". "I'm curious, am I not allowed to be curious?" you say, absently wondering how many questions the two of you can throw at each other before any answers finally start coming out of someone's mouth.

"You're asking me how I know if what I'm doing is right?"

"I guess."

Kankri just stares at you for a while and oddly enough, doesn't pry even when he looks like there is no shortage of blanks waiting to be filled in inside his head.

"I don't...I just couldn't, _can't_...I was literally unable to say no when he asked me. As you well know, I thought about it _really_ thoroughly, I came up with plenty of reasons why I should say no but," Kankri shrugs, Kankri Vantas actually _shrugs_ because he doesn't know what to say. "I didn't." He looks away, choosing to stare at the door knob instead of you. "I love him I suppose." he murmurs so softly you almost don't catch it. "if I dare say that word with the intent of using it in its ultimate sense."

"How do you know you love him?" You ask, voice dropping down to something almost as soft as the kind he's using.

Kankri looks at you again and this time the look of confusion on his face is much more pronounced. "I find myself acutely beffuddled that _I_ am the one saying this to _you_ and I'm serious about it but; I just know. At the very least, I know that if I think about it too hard, I might end up doing something that would estrange me from him and I _know_ that i don't want that to happen. Would you mind if I asked you why you're making all these inquiries of me again?"

You take that all in, staring at your screen as you shrug one shoulder. "No reason, don't worry about it. Night, sleep well Kankri."

Kankri hovers at your door, silent for the next minute and a half but eventually bids you a good night as well and shuts the door behind him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

On the day before his older brother is supposed to marry yours, you message Eridan for the first time since the disastrous end to your terribly short lived relationship.

\-------carcinoGeneticist[CG] started pestering caligulasAquarium[CA] at 15:34 AM

CG:HE NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT IT AROUND ME BUT I KNOW THAT YOUR BROTHER THINKS IT SUCKS THAT YOU'RE NOT COMING TO HIS WEDDING.

CG: I'M SORRY.

You stare at the message for a while before sighing and moving to close the chat window. Just as you do, violet words pop up under yours. You blink at your screen, wondering if your eyes are playing tricks on you. Eridan's icon is offline but after a second's delibiration, you reopen the chat window anyway. To your surprise there actually is a message there, _not_ in capslock and not from your handle. He must have his thing set to invisible.

CA: yeah i knoww. i'm not though. you deservve evverythin i said and evverythin i did, and then some.

CG: I KNOW.

CG: SORRY.

CA: wwhatevver, keep your sorry. i'm partly responsible anywway. Evven wwhen i knoww you havvent evven spoken to him, i swwear i could still fuckin smell him on you. God you're a douchebag kar.

CG: YOU'RE ONLY GETTING THAT NOW? AND FOR THE RECORD, I DIDN'T ACTUALLY START TALKING TO HIM BEFORE WE BROKE UP

CA: wwoww fuckin really?

CG: WHAT? THE GRAVE'S ALREADY DUG, WHY NOT MAKE IT DEEPER? AT LEAST I'M BEING HONEST. BESIDES I AM SO DEEP IN THIS SHITHOLE NOW, NO ONE WOULD BE ABLE TO SMELL MY DECOMPOSING DOUCHEBAGERY ANYWAY.

CA: ah, hell, like i said. i'm partly responsible, deep dowwn i guess i'vve alwways knowwn he still fuckin owwns you, you slapped the cheek that wwasn'y vvoluntarily numb wwhen you said his name wwhile wwe wwere doing it.

CG: I REALLY AM SORRY. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, I DID TRY

CA: fuck you, don't evven go there

CA: just

CA: goodbye kar.

CA:tell Cronus I said hi and best wwishes.

CG: OKAY. BYE.

You wait for about a minute before deciding that he's gone for good this time and also that even if he isn't, you have nothing more to say to him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You hate whomever decided that outdoor weddings should be a thing when you find yourself at your brother's, wearing a suit in the middle of April. You disappear when all the guests start arriving, deciding that the sun is too bright, you're wearing too much black and if those two facts continue being correlated, you're going to end up jumping into the fountain behind where the altar is set up and Porrim is going to kill you.  On your way to find shelter, you run into the Captors who are all more or less wearing the same kind of suit you are because they're sitting on Kankri's side.

Sollux scoffs at your slicked back hair and gray striped red bow tie and you flick his blue-red tie into his face. He's not wearing his glasses today for some reason and when you ask about it, he just tells you he stepped on it by accident. Calvin fawns over you for a bit before heading off to go find your dad and take their seats. When they were gone, Sollux leans in a little as if to tell you a secret and says "Actually I just woke up and my glasses were on your side of the bed, the frame was crooked, your fat  ass crushed it in your sleep."

You punch him in the arm.

"Oww, fuck you you owe me a new pair of glasses."

You just stare at him, thinking back on what Kankri said, what Eridan said, on all the times you thought about him when you didn't want to and you think, maybe you _know_.

Sollux stops glaring at you when he sees the look on your face and his expression morphs into something that silently asks you if you're _still thinking about it_.

You answer him by leaning in. He meets you halfway automatically and your lips touch in a short, chaste kiss.

Sollux blinks at you when you pull away and you suck in a breath. "Are you wearing contacts or do you need me hold your arm like the inherently incompetent fuckwad that you are?"

He grins at you and you realize when his odd, pointed eye teeth peek out at you that you haven't really seen him _smile_ since you got here, not until now.

"Lead the way, I'll be sure to take every opportunity I can to step on your foot or trip you."

"You're nearsighted not legally blind, hey! don't fucking touch the suit with your grubby skeleton fingers, no! don't touch me i said" you say when he tries to grab your arm like a visually impaired person about to cross the road.  "I'm not your guide dog"

"Of course not, you're a bitch."

You gut him with as much force as you can without making him speak like he's constipated for the next two hours and he swats at your face in retaliation. You argue as you make your way to the ceremony and neither of you say anything when he reaches over and holds your hand.

The wedding goes fairly smoothly, a few unsurprising glitches happen but you all get through them. Kankri predictably has a mini panic attack just before he walks the aisle and you and Porrim work together in keeping things under control while he breathes into a bag. She's the one who stays with him so you don't actually know how composed his emotional and mental state is when he meets you and your dad at the foot of the red carpet leading up to the altar.  He just nods when your dad asks if he's okay and without another word, he takes both of your arms when you and your dad both offer them to him.

Just as the band starts playing the song Cronus composed specifically for the walk, you lean your head close to his and ask "Still sure?" He takes a deep breath and eyes locked on the blonde douchebag waiting for him on the other end of the aisle, he nods. "Still sure."

And he is, he doesn't have another panic attack and looks more serene and happy then you've ever seen him when you and your dad walk him down the aisle and put his hands in Cronus' waiting ones.

Hoping to luck or whatever the fuck is responsible for these things that you and Kankri are both right in being "sure", you take your seat near the front, next to Porrim, still feeling the phantom pressure of Sollux's hand in yours.

There's a collective groan from the crowd when the time comes for the vows to be said and Kankri pulls out no less than three full pages of lined paper out of his tux but everyone is stunned into silence when he takes one look at it, toss it to the side and probably for the first time in years, wings his way through a speech. It still ends up being stupidly long (and probably would have been longer and you and a handful of others didn't butt in here and there with a pointed cough) but halfway through it, Kankri has to swallow a sob and no one dares to interrupt him when he sniffles his way through the last few words.  You're pretty sure several other people are crying along with him when Cronus reaches up to wipe escaped tears from Kankri's cheek with his fingers.

Cronus picks Kankri up when they're pronounced lawfully wedded husbands and are permitted to kiss and pretty much just carries him for the rest of the wedding up to the reception, where he sets him down at the head table, next to him.

You catch the tiny little boquet of roses that Kankri didn't actually hold at any point during the ceremony but was ordered from the florist just for the tradition of throwing it to a sea of single people and giving them fragile hope that they won't die alone someday. Sollux flashes you a shit eating grin when it lands in your hands and almost falls off his chair laughing when the garter (also not used by Kankri at any point in the ceremony, as far as you know. You're content with not knowing if its been on him at _any_ point in time) Cronus flings behind him somehow ends up in Meenah Peixes' hands.

When mostly everyone is done eating, the music starts up and as is tradition, the newlyweds dance with each other before being passed along to each other's "parents". You endure waltzing with your brother when you both have two left feet and comfort yourself with the knowledge that your stepfather has hands for feet when it comes to dancing and he too went through it. After you waltz very briefly with Cronus, you're passed on to Aranea, then to Meenah and it just goes on as people get up from their tables and dance, like everyone spontaneously decided you're not allowed to leave the dance floor. When Sollux appears out of nowhere to grab your sleeve, you put your foot down.

"Oh hell no I am not dancing with you."

"Why not?" he asks, grabbing hold of your hands and putting one on his shoulder.

"Have you been asleep this whole fucking time? According to tradition, I belong to Meenah now."

"Then sign yourself up for a lifetime of adultery because let's be real here. You can't resist all six feet of this glorious captor glory."

You release an ugly snort and the two of you go quiet for a while, letting the [soft, slow melody](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZiKmPYGYVc) playing over the speakers fill in the silence.

"Can I come over later?" Sollux asks eventually

"Why?"

"Pop was talking about  the midnight crew reuniting after reception. Since this is the first time uncle Droog and uncle Boxcars are in town with your dad and pop. So your dad isn't going to be there, and your brother is going to get whisked away to the land of mortgages and domestic bliss, the house is going to be nice and empty."

"And you want to be in an empty house because?"

Sollux just stares at you flatly, he seems to decide that if you're going to be this way then fine.

"To consummate our new re-found relationship now will you let me at your dick and or your ass before we have to leave Stratford or not? Either one is good enough for me, hell, if you'd let me get at both that'd be even better."

You roll your eyes but you don't resist it at all when he bends down to rest his chin against the crook of your neck.

"I think everyone wants the newly weds to get busy with the futile baby making."

"I'll go steal the garter from Meenah, then we can have all the excuse we need to get busy failing to procreate."

"Just shut up and get off my shoulder before you end up stepping on my toes." You say, turning your head to the side and planting a feather light kiss on his ear.

The reception ends up running until well into the evening, Kankri and Cronus leave right away to their three week honeymoon to Bermuda and like Sollux said, immediately after getting home, your dad tells you he wont be back probably until tomorrow afternoon because he's going to go out drinking with your uncles. (his old war buddies. you and Sollux always suspected that they were part of a gang at some point before they were in the military, you never really bothered to found out because come on. Calvin. Just Calvin.) You change out of your suit, run your hair under the faucet and you don't call or text Sollux but he shows up a little past midnight anyway.

You let him in without a word and meet him halfway when he leans down for a quick kiss.

"You want some champagne? Cronus left it by accident. Good thing too, at least we'd know if they die tonight it'd be a legit car crash, not the result of intoxicated driving." You say, making your way into the kitchen  to fetch the champagne in question.

Sollux follows behind you, contemplating silently. "Nah, I'll stay sober tonight."

"Why?" You ask him, voice ringing with just a faint hint of a challenge.

Sollux just gives you a look that warms your blood and makes your insides feel like they're overun with butterflies.

"Just shut up and come here kk."

He says even as he moves towards you and closes the distance between the two of you himself.  Obediently, you shut up and welcome the kiss he presses to your mouth like a man trapped in the desert welcomes the rain.

You leave a trail of clothes from the kitchen to the stairs where you push him up clumsily trying not to stop kissing him. You stumble and nearly fall twice, the second time, Sollux's back slams painfully into the banister. You pull away in alarm but Sollux just grabs you by your shoulders and yank you back. "Oh no you don't. Almost a year, a _year_ kk, your mouth, your hands, fucking _all_ of you won't be going anywhere unless they're touching me you understand?"

You just moan into his mouth and pray that you don't trip as you walk back as fast as you can, pulling him with you while you kiss him senseless. Not that it matters, you wouldn't care and just make wild, frantic love to him right there on the floor if you do. Fortunately for your backs, you end up not having to do that because you make it safely to the bed.

Everything is so familiar, so _good_ that you feel yourself almost slipping into a mild state of delirium. For every second that his skin is on yours, hot and comforting, you wonder how you managed to get by without him for as long as you did. Every kiss he plants on your body is another whisper in your head. _I'm keeping you this time_.

He almost pushes into you without any prior preparation, you would've let him. Neither of you are really in the mood to do this right. He has enough sense to be safe though and you almost resent him for it. But he goes about it as fast as he can, earning him a groan of approval and your fingers digging into the sides of his surgical scar, where it ends right above his lower back, pushing him closer, telling him that you _need_ him to keep his word and not let anything that is you not be in contact with everything that is him.

"Can I...?" he asks.

"I am seriously going to be fucking angry if you don't."

Sollux laughs, grabs your hips and he does and it's uncomfortable at first, almost painful. All new but so fucking familiar you can't stand it. You wrap your limbs around him, pulling him down so that you're lying flushed together, skin on skin. You sigh, you haven't felt this home ever since you got here.

It seems to go on forever but the second its over it feels like it barely lasted a minute. But Sollux hooks his legs with yours and slides an arm under your head while the other reclaims its place, securely wrapped around your waist where it hasn't been in months and you find that you don't care all that much because he's here, _with you_ and you can finally stop denying that you're feeling any pains in a phantom limb because everything is as it should be and you feel like you never lost anything in the first place.

"Ask Kanaya if she can ship some of your stuff over." Sollux says at some point past 2:30, fingers tracing aimless patterns on your hip.

"Why?"

"Let's just stay here for the next year or something. We can move somewhere else if you want later."

"What about Roxy?"

"There's this thing called the internet you know. It lets you, this is gonna blow your mind, _talk_  to people without being in their immediate presence, gasp!"

You smack him in the arm but a small grin quirks the corners of your lips, recognizing the words as the exact ones he said to you before he started his descent into shitty boyfriendhood. Sollux stops tracing patterns on your skin to hold the hand you smacked him with and keep it from doing any more damage.

"Okay."

"Really?" he asks.

"Yeah." You say closing your eyes and sliding forward on the pillow so that you're almost talking against his lips. "I guess, I don't know. We'll talk about it later, you're ruining my afterglow."

"Excuse me for wanting to do this your way princess. When did I become the one invested in emotions while you sit there and put your gross man needs before me?"

" _Ruining_. the. afterglow. Shut the fuck up before I kick you out off this bed."

"Alright fine but just to be clear, we're back together right?"

You sigh in exasperation. "Yes."

He kisses you sleepily. "Good."

And you drift off like that. You don't know exactly what you'll do tomorrow or the day after that, or if whatever you do will work out as it should. But you know that whatever happens, Sollux is going to be with you and for now, that's more than good enough for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Couple of things:
> 
> NAMES
> 
> -Ledo and Argon Captor, are dervied from Leda and Argonauts, two things significant in the myth of Pollux and Castor. Leda is the twins' mother and i thought about naming Argon something that’s close to one of the twins’ birth fathers but i couldnt find a modern name that I liked so i just went with Argon after Argonauts, the crew of heroes that Pollux and Castor were part of
> 
> -Calvin - means little bald man apparently. i saw it when i was looking for C names and went “yes.”
> 
> -i got lazy with the other members of MC sorry UnU
> 
> -I never mentioned Sollux’s middle name: It’s Turing, after Alan Turing, chosen by Ledo Captor because he’s a huge computer nerd and little Solluxander took after him. also, that is legit Sollux’s first name. Yup. Solluxander Turing Captor.
> 
> If you haven’t guessed it, the song by Imogen Heap Karkat listened to is Telemiscommunications


End file.
